I’m going to come straight out and say it: my life has been stressful over the past five years. But then transformation often is.
Between December of 2016 and January of 2019, my partner and I lost six loved ones. Additionally, we were forced to change homes, and chose to move into his family’s ancestral home, an old Finnish-style log home –which is lovely!! –but also old and in need of care and repair.
We are both self-employed, and it’s hard to find the energy to bring in clients when you’re going through so much loss and upheaval. So of course there was some financial stress.
Transforming Comparison Judgment
Like many women, I often go into “comparison worthiness”: telling myself I shouldn’t complain because I have it better than a lot of people. And for sure. That’s also true. But as a friend of mine recently posted:
“We can be grateful for what we have AND feel depressed. We can hold compassion for someone in a darker space AND feel anguish in our own space. We can recognize our luck AND cry for 5 hours at our misfortune. We can feel all of the feelings AND be a better human for it.”–Becca
Of course [again, like many of my friends] rather than gifting myself with self-compassion as all this loss accumulated, instead of allowing myself to grieve and go into a season of winter as I would advise a client, I tortured myself for five years with the other kind of comparison: comparison judgment.
That is, I looked at other practitioners who were “making it” by following so and so’s marketing plan of the month … If you’re in the industry, you know what I mean: this month it’s “Get Butts in Seats: How to Fill Your Retreats.” Next month it’s “Power and Presence: How to Pack a Room with Secrets from Amazing Performers.” And after that it’s “Fill Your Online Course by Creating a Small Beta.” All these things.
I tried them all. Well, most. And none of them worked for me. My business grew a tiny bit. But not like it was starting to grow before our lives went into upheaval.
Which left me feeling small and convinced I must be horrible at entrepreneurship.
The momentum in other areas of my life also faltered. I wasn’t following through on my promises to myself. Like spending at least part of every day creating. Like enjoying time in the lake and with family. Like reading for pleasure. Exercising. It was all on a downhill slide.
The Gift of My Injured Shoulder
Then came the gift of my injured shoulder. And pandemic unemployment and insurance money to take the pressure off our finances. And beautiful, sweet time. Time to heal. Physically, of course. But also permission to simply take care of myself for a year.
Who knew that a car accident leading to surgery and a very long recovery time was just the catharsis I needed?
“the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions.”
Not me. I didn’t know that. I was still pretty frustrated for a while. I wasn’t healing as fast as people expected. I had to take more time off work than I “should.” My business was languishing. All the things. And yet …
I continued my physical therapy. My somatic therapy. Created beautiful spaces in my garden. Swam in the lake. Laughed. Cried. Gave a face-lift to my family’s rental cabin. Spent time with my partner. And friends. And myself.
And I hired a marketing coach from my Sacred Depths coaching program who allowed me to go at my own slow speed.
Transform by Rooting In
My goal this year was to root into my business. To really understand “what I do.” To create a grimoire of sorts that defined all my tools.
So I started writing about it. Every single morning in my journal. Repetitively. Slowly. Sometimes frustratingly slowly. “Who-is-my-client?” I asked myself over and over. “What-do-I-DO?” “What is my thought leadership? My philosophy? What makes me different? What makes me unique? What tools do I use with my clients?”
And as it evolved, I knew that many pieces of it were not so different from what I’d been doing with my clients for the past ten years.
But what I came to realize was that over the long stressful years, I grew.
I’m no longer afraid of the shadows. I can stand longer with my clients in their dark places and not feel a need to push them back into the light. I can hold duality better. And recognize my own. I no longer feel like I have to pretend to be perfect. Or that MY whole life is sunshine and roses. I realized that one of my gifts is that I am imperfect and ordinary. But also sacred and wise with harmonic energy and a playful and subtle sense of humor.
The Magick that came forth was that I realized that what makes me special is ME.
My history. My eclectic experiences. My energy. My humor. Anyone can teach these tools. But nobody else can do it like I do.
Learn from the Trees
So gradually, over the summer and then over the fall, as the leaves fell from the trees, my business evolved:
What I DO is hold sacred space for women to LIVE their sometimes messy, but always beautifully sacred lives. To be imperfect AND beautiful at the same time. To slow down. To ponder. To love. To root into themselves. To leave room for the mystery and the unfolding. To not always be in a hurry.
I offer them a safe place to be seen. Heard. Loved. At ease in their own skin. Be their whole selves instead of the persona they’ve worn for decades.
The Birth of Practical-Magick
And who I AM is an Intuitive Soul Guide. Sacred Depths Practitioner. Transformational Coach. Self-Belief Coach.
I love studying human physiology. The neurobiology of emotions. The psychobiology of women. But also Myths. Archetypes. Mystery.
Mother Earth is my other mother, and I love to play with creative practices like art and writing and movement.
THIS. THIS is what I do. But what makes it Magick is me.
I’ve always called what I do “Practical-Magick.”
And so this new / old business is birthed in darkness and is ready to explore both shadows and light.
Welcome to Practical-Magick.
Come inside. Explore. Stay awhile.
Much love, 💖